The letter that changed my life

             The letter that changed my life.  

      I closed my eyes even though I had turned the lights off. The night was dark but even the small beam of light sprouting from my neighbours room into mine
made me feel agitated. I tried not to think too much but closed eyes made it worse. The more i thought about it ,the more rapid my heart beated. Just then I could hear voices of gossip. The words were crispy clear although they should be whispering. "He might have physically abused her "one said ... "It's him I tell you it's all because of him ! why else do you think he has shut himself inside that room. He can't face us..."said the other ..." ! "Maybe she had an extra marital affair and he caught her red handed " said another enthusiastic voice. I closed the window in my room but the voices could still be heard. But this time it was distant. Women tend to believe that they have inherited the genes of Sherlock homes in them .They create evidences and situations just by their mouths which cannot stay shut at the sight of another species of their kind. If my own relatives can talk about me in this manner what would the others be saying . These thoughts made me restless . I despise calling them my aunties. I don't want them to  console me but atleast the talks can be done  a little less loudly. Tomorrow they'd be all gone. I will get peace of mind. I calmed my pulse to this thought.

    To my joy they all fled early morning the very next day. I was alone now. I was hungry too. As I walked to the kitchen the smell of coffee was so seducing that it dragged me to the kitchen. Standing across the kitchen was my beautiful wife. She looked flawless in her light pink kurta which matched her rosy cheeks. I hugged her and put my arms  her waist while giving a small peck on her cheeks. Suddenly the smell of the coffee disappeared. Everything around me seemed grey. She was gone too. But where did she disappear ? She was right here next to me. My head is spinning now. What's happening ? Am I dreaming ? How did smell of the coffee vanish?  The world I was in a minute ago just vaporized into thin air. I stood there trembling. I could feel my hands shaking. I heard a loud thud. Next minute I know I was staring at the floor frightened and lost .There were shattered glass pieces lying on the floor.Now where did this come from?

The broken glass pieces were now blurry. I felt clammy and cold. 
      I opened my eyes to an unpleasant sight of an I.V bottle hanging in mid-air. My eyes followed the tube to find it's end attached to my own hand. Perplexed , I looked around the room.Just then a lady dressed in white entered 
my room.She had a bright smile on finding me with wide opened eyes. "How did I reach here?"I asked her. "Your driver is the one who bought you here on finding you unconscious on the kitchen floor ."  
                         A man with a stethoscope wrapped around his neck dressed in formals entered the room. " Mr.George how are you feeling now?" He asked. "doctor can you please explain what happened to me?"I asked in a shaky voice. 
          " I will tell you everything George, but first you must tell me  everything you can recollect "he said patting my back .I told him everything without leaving off any detail from the time I woke up to the things that were on the kitchen table.
       "Mr.George this was an illusion.You just saw what your mind wanted to see.You wanted your wife in the kitchen making coffee for you. Since your mind is programmed to this daily routine you assumed that she was there.Your wife passed away 2 days ago. Yesterday was the funeral. All your relatives left today morning."
          Like thunder striking the silver clouds I felt my heart slit opening in pain.The images of the letter,rope,lies and the plan were flashing in my mind.Without giving me a minute to grasp the reality the doctor continued. "Since you were hungry you walked straight into the kitchen to calm your hunger.But your imagination got the best of you. You felt that your wife suddenly disappeared because you stopped imagining. The minute you stopped imagining she was gone. Unconsciously you hit the kitchen table behind you breaking the wine bottle. The loud sound of the bottle shattering on the ground brought you out of your illusion". "All this happened so fast that it frightened you.  Since you didn't have your breakfast in the morning your glucose level was low ."  
      As the doctor was just about to leave I saw his badge  with his name imprinted on it. But what shocked me was his designation. It read "Chief psychiatrist".
        As soon as he left the room I checked my pocket for the letter. It was still there. Relived by it's sight I heaved a long breath. It was all crumbled  up with it's sides torn . This was the piece of paper that got me here. I kept it back inside. I decided to keep this letter as a reminder to how all of this happened in the first place, so that I wouldn't feel guilty. As I thought to myself I scanned the room to find a way to escape.

A few hours later I was discharged. But to my surprise I was accompanied by a policeman all the way to home. Throughout the journey I could feel a lump in my throat. My heart was racing . I didn't ask a word about why he was with me. I could see him slyly reading every small change in my emotions. So I remained as normal as possible but that
could not stop the sweat from dripping from my forehead .

       Once I reached home I thought he will leave  instead he came inside along with me . Even then I did not bother questioning him so I went straight to the bathroom and locked myself there. I heaved a sigh of  relief and immediately pulled open the letter again.
       After reading the letter I went back to the room and closed my eyes. My mind was full of fury. Every time I read the letter I felt that each word  being scribed into my skin with a sharp sword. I wanted to sleep but her face popped up every single time. I clenched by hands hard. I opened my eyes to the sound of a door bell. I quickly walked to the door forgetting all about the policeman inside my house. He got up and went to get the door before I could reach it. When he opened the door a girl , probably in her late twenties stood by the door step. She introduced herself as my new neighbour. She was a bit stunned to see a cop inside my house. She said that it had been a month since she shifted but she never got the time to stop by. After a short conversation she got up to leave. But just as she was about to leave something made me call her back, "Miss, you never told me your name."   She replied " Oh yes I forgot to tell you that.. !  My name is Susan" . Suddenly my heart dropped. I could feel my body trembling. I could hear that name echoing repeatedly in my ear.  I sat on the chair and went into deep thought. " Is everything alright?" she asked . " No its not. Can you please read this and tell me if this was for you."   I took out the letter from my pocket and handed it to her. The letter was crumbled by now. She looked more confused now. My hands became stiff. My heart beat was as loud as the thunder as she began reading it. After reading the letter she said "Jerry is my ex-boyfriend. I happen to bump into him last week at a coffee shop nearby . He must have found my new address. Anyways this letter was addressed to me but I think the postman sent it here by mistake.!"    My voice grew soft, as I replied  "My wife ... Her name ......was also Susan".

      I covered my face with my hand and just dropped myself onto the chair .I felt like my whole life was falling apart.My mind went blank.

The letter read:

          Dear Susan,
 I know my letter will come in as a surprise for you. Maybe even as a shock. If you are wondering why I took the pain to write you a letter then it's as simple as this. It's because I wanted to tell you that I still love you. Though we met accidentally after 5 years at the coffee shop a week ago, that meeting made me realise how precious you are. I'm sorry if I did anything wrong in the past but I can't live without you. You cut contact with most of our friends so I was not sure of your phone number either. A few of our friends told me that you are married. I hope that's a lie. And even if you are married I do not care because I still love you. And I know you love me too because at the coffee shop when we spoke even though it was just for five minute I could sense the love in your eyes as well. Please call me back if you get this letter. I'm leaving my phone number below 3773738387. Waiting for you.
With love

Months later ...

It's 2:15am now . I'm in the central jail. I see nightmares all the time. Sometimes ,I see her standing next to me. It frightens me.  I always stare at the wall and all I see is her name, "Susan".

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